Dating is an avenue where two people get to know each other better in the hope of knowing whether or not they are meant for each other for the rest of their lives. Dating is a process and it supposedly takes time. It should never be hurried. It is taken as slow as possible so every moment can be savored because that precise moment will never be repeated again.
Some dates turn out to be sour just after the first encounter. More likely, something has been done or said that put off the other person. While certain questions may give you a clue whether or not you would like to continue on dating her, there are questions that are left unasked until many dates later or until she is comfortable enough to answer.
1. Questions that bring up her exes
In this time when relationships come and go, it is rare to find a woman who has never been in a relationship before. As liberal as many women are today, many plunges into a relationship easily and say goodbye as easily when something she did not like comes up. If men can change girlfriends as often as he changes his clothes, why can’t women do the same? That is the voice of equality complaining. It is safe to assume she had had several boyfriends in the past but that does not give you the right to question her about them. This is your date, not her exes’. The fact that she agreed to go out with you is quite a good sign that she favors you over them. Do not ruin it by asking the wrong question. After all, you would not want her to ask about your exes, would you?
2. Questions about her virginity
Men would like to be the one to be the first to be intimate with her despite the same men being free, roaming to different women. Why expect a date to be a virgin? Why even ask how many she has slept with? Does it change anything? If you want a virgin, you are less likely to find it in an online dating site. You should look for one who belongs to a religious group that upholds the commandments of God as supreme. That will be hard to find but they do exist. At any rate, it is never a good question to ask about her virginity especially on the first date.
3. Questions about having a family
You are just starting to get to know each other. That is the very purpose of the first few dates. It takes time before one can decide whether you are the one who will be with her the rest of her life and build a family. Asking her how many children she dreams to have is like asking her if she will marry you. It is one of the fastest ways for a woman to not show her face again to you. For most, it will be a scary thought. Even if she only wanted one and you wanted a dozen babies, if you get along well and love grows, you might end up in the middle having six. Love is a give and take relationship. Having to know right away from the first date is unnecessary and may even be the cause to scare her away.
4. Questions about physical looks
Whether online or offline dating, you have the chance to see each other’s general appearance. Never ask her questions that will draw her attention to your looks as if letting her realize that you look stunning and she is lucky to date you. What it actually does is highlight your lack of self esteem or confidence. It is also inappropriate to focus on her looks as well. It will only make her self-conscious which may affect the date itself. Compliment her once as you first meet then go learn about each other beyond looks but light enough to be easily answered.
5. Question that hints more than just a date
One of the common dates projected by Hollywood dates is the end of the date itself. The last question would often go like: “Your place or mine?” This is never a question asked as you finish the first date. You are assuming that she is easy to get and that she will spend the night with you. Ask that and more likely you will never see her again.
Dating is a phase where two people get to know each other better but it is the first phase where no one knows yet how comfortable each of you are. The above questions are meant to be asked after so many dates have passed. Ask them early and you will most likely ruin your chance for another date with her.